Calm in Conflict

Resolving Conflicts

Teacher Lesson Guide

(swipe to advance)

Objectives

  • Awareness

  • Empathy

  • Decision Making

Lesson Design

45-60 Minutes

5 Min: Review Learning Objectives
20 Min: Literary Discussion: Anansi and the Talking Melon
5 Min: Supporting Activity: Ride the Escalator Game
10 Min: Reinforcing Activity: Too Small Houses
3 Min: Closing Activity

Objectives

  • Identify signs of escalating emotional

  • Explore de-escalation strategies for conflict

  • Demonstrate de-escalation strategies for conflict

Lingo List

Quantifying Words 

escalate

deescalate

diminish

amplify

intensify

Conflict Words

struggle

conflict

quarrel

fight

disagreement

Reconciliation Words

compromise

agree

settle

mercy

compassion

make amends

Aggravation Words

provoke

aggravate

bug

tease

irritate

annoy

pester

Friendship Words

support

back up

aid

assist

compliment

understand

honor

help

Cooperating Words

cooperate

patience

listen

observe

attend

accept

There are many reasons why conflicts can escalate into hurtful, threatening and dangerous situations. In this lesson, students will explore some of the causes of conflict escalation and practice ways of maintaining constructive dialogue through disagreements and deescalating clashes.

While conflict is a natural part of living in community, having a safe setting to practice conflict resolution skills is a powerful asset in emotional development. Play-scenario based interaction is a proven method for establishing critical thinking and self-regulation. The activities in this lesson will help prompt meaningful dialogue and reflection for the class through examining the distinctions of escalation of conflict from dialogue to discussion, to argument to debate, to fight.

Guiding Questions for Class:

How would you describe your personality? What are feelings/emotions and why do we have them? How can feelings/emotions be contagious? In which ways can other people can impact the way you feel/act? How does repeating an action impact our personality over time?

Reading:

Anansi and the Talking Melon

One summer morning Anansi the Spider sat high up in a knobthorn tree, peering down into Elephant's melon patch. Elephant was hoeing his garden and munching on bean pods. The ripe melons looked so delicious that Anansi gnashed his jaws and said to himself, "Look how sweet and juicy those look! I must have a taste!"

Anansi loved to eat melons, but being a spider, he was not such a good farmer. He had to wait and wait and wait until other animals grew the melons. So he watched from his tree, while the fat sun traveled high in the sky and the breeze grew warm.

By the time noon came, it was too hot to work. Elephant put down his hoe and went inside his house to take a nap.

This was the moment Anansi had been waiting for. He broke off a thorn and dropped down into the melon patch. He used the thorn to bore a hole in the biggest, ripest melon. Anansi squeezed inside and started eating.

He ate and ate until he was round as a berry. "I'm full," Anansi said at last. "Elephant will be coming back soon. It is time to go." But when he tried to squeeze through the hole, Anansi got a surprise. His body was too big to get out of the melon! " I can't get out!" Anansi cried. "I will have to wait until I am thin again."

Anansi sat down on a pile of melon seeds and wondered how long it would take him to turn thin again. He watched the sun continue through the sky from his dark melon cave.

Just then, he heard Elephant returning to the garden. Anansi had a fun idea. "When Elephant gets closer, I will say something. Elephant will think the melon is talking" Anansi giggled to himself just thinking of the joke.

Elephant walked over to the melon patch. "Look at this fine melon. How big and ripe it is!" he said, picking it up. “It will make a sweet snack.”

Anansi cried out from inside, “What are you doing with me!”

Elephant jumped. "Aah! Who said that?"

"I did. The melon," Anansi said.

"I didn't know melons could talk," said Elephant.

"Of course we do. We talk all the time. The trouble is, you never listen."

"I can't believe my ears!" Elephant exclaimed. "A talking melon! Who could believe it? I must show this to the king." Elephant ran down the road, carrying the melon with Anansi inside. Along the way he ran into Hippo.

"Where are you going with that melon?" Hippo asked.

"I'm taking it to the king," Elephant told him.

"What for? The king has hundreds of melons."

"He doesn't have one like this," Elephant said. "This is a talking melon."

Hippo didn't believe Elephant. "A talking melon? How ridiculous it is! That's as ridiculous as..."

". . . a skinny hippo," the melon said.

Hippo got so angry his face turned red. "Who said that? Did you say that, Elephant?"

"It wasn't me. It was the melon," Elephant said. "I told you it talks. Do you believe me now?"

"I do!" Hippo exclaimed. "I want to go with you. I want to hear what the king says when you show him this talking melon."

"Come along, then," said Elephant. So, Elephant and Hippo went down the road together, carrying the melon.

By and by, they ran into Warthog. "Hey, nice watermelon. Can I have some? I’m starving" Warthog asked them.

"No, Warthog! We're taking it to the king," Elephant and Hippo told him.

"What for? The king has hundreds of melons," Warthog said.

"He doesn't have one like this," Hippo replied. "This melon talks. I heard it."

Warthog started to laugh. "A talking melon? How ridiculous it is! That's as ridiculous as..."

"A handsome warthog?" said the melon.

Warthog got so angry he shook all over. "Who said that? Did you say that, Elephant? Did you say that, Hippo?"

"Of course not!" Hippo and Elephant told him. "The melon talks. Do you believe us now?"

"I do!" cried Warthog. "Let me go with you. I want to see what the king does when you show him this talking melon."

Along the way, they met Ostrich, Rhino, and Turtle. They didn't believe the melon could talk either until they heard it for themselves. Then they wanted to come along too.

The animals came before the king. Elephant placed the melon at the king's feet.

The king looked down. "Why did you bring me a melon?" he asked Elephant. "I have hundreds of melons growing in my garden."

"You don't have one like this," Elephant said. "This melon talks." "A talking melon? I don't believe it. Say something, melon."

The melon said nothing and the king grew impatient.

"Melon, if you can talk, I want you to say something. I command you to speak," The king demanded.

The melon did not make a sound. The king was even more impatient. "Oh, this is a stupid melon!"

Just then the melon spoke. "Stupid, am I? Why do you say that? I'm not the one who talks to melons!"

The animals had never seen the king so angry. "How dare this melon insult me!" He shouted. The king picked up the melon and hurled it as far as he could. The melon bounced and rolled all the way back to Elephant's house. KPOW! It smacked into the thorn tree and burst into pieces. Anansi picked himself up from among the bits of melon rind. What a ride!

Through all the excitement, Anansi had time to get thin again, and he was now very hungry. Anansi climbed the banana tree. He settled himself in the middle of a big bunch of bananas and started eating.

Elephant returned. He went straight to the melon patch.

"You melons got me in trouble with the king!" Elephant said. "From now on, you can talk all you like. I'm not going to listen to a word you say!"

"Good for you, Elephant!" Anansi called from the bananas. "We bananas should have warned you. Talking melons are nothing but trouble.

Open-Ended Questions:

After the reading, debrief the story using the open-ended questions below. 

Awareness

How does it feel when someone ignores you?

What does frustration or aggravation look like?

Who can help when you feel like you are not being treated fairly?

Empathy

When you see that someone is trying to speak but no one is listening, what can you do to help?

How does it feel when you see someone not being treated fairly?

Decision Making

If your friend is getting frustrated what can you do for them?

What are some ways you could calm down if you feel yourself getting aggravated?

What can we do when we don’t like what a person is saying to us?

Kinesthetic Activity: Ride the Escalator Game

Materials: Coin/Token with two distinct sides

Instructions:

  1. Have the group sit in a circle, facing inward.

  2. Have a coin, or token, determine one side for (like heads) for ESCALATE, and one (like tails) for DE-ESCALATE

  3. Take a few minutes to discuss the meaning of ESCALATE/DE-ESCALATE and other quantifying words to describe increase/decrease of intensity of feelings/emotions. (Lingo List)

  4. Then, take turns going around the circle, each student flips the coin and says (if heads) something that escalates their frustration, or (if tails) something that de-escalates their frustration.

  5. Go around the circle using other emotions (patience, compassion, selfishness, compromise) and different quantifying words (amplify/intensify/diminish/lessen).

  6. At the end of the activity, debrief using questions provided

Debriefing Questions:

  • How did it feel to talk about what escalates your frustration?

  • What did you hear someone else say about what diminishes their patience?

  • What is one way to escalate compassion with your friends, family, or community?

Reinforcing Activity: Too Small Houses

Objective: Students will demonstrate their communication skills by working together to create a structure that will support pennies

Instructions

  1. For large groups, divide into teams.

  2. For online presentation, the activity may be done by just the facilitator or with the students who have the materials.

  3. Each person will receive 5 of each item; toothpicks, marshmallows, pennies

  4. Read the following aloud:
    Each person has resources they can use to build structures that will hold a penny on the roof. In order to unlock the resource and be able to use it, the person has to say what they want to use and explain why they want to use it. The group will then agree to use the items as suggested or/make additional suggestions during construction until all the materials are used. The object is to have all the pennies off the ground, using the tallest structure as possible.

Debrief Questions:

  • What was most difficult about this activity for you/your group?

  • How did you feel about getting feedback on your ideas?

  • Describe what you admired/liked about someone else during this activity.

Closing Activity

Let’s end with a closing circle activity that will remind us of what we learned as a team working and learning as a team.

Today, we learned how to identify escalating emotions while exploring and practicing de-escalation strategies for conflict and building communication.

FULL CIRCLE- Open-Ended Questions

  • What new words did you learn today concerning conflict and understanding how to avoid getting super angry?

  • After today’s activities, what did you learn about maintaining friendships?

  • What are some behaviors or ways you could talk to someone to help them want to work together?

  • What was difficult about the activities?

  • Look at the Four Awesome Questions, how do they relate to today’s activities?

Feedback? We’d love to hear it! Email us at info@epicethics.org

© Epic Ethics. All Rights Reserved.