Working Together

Resolving Conflicts

Teacher Lesson Guide

(swipe to advance)

Objectives

  • Empathy

  • Active Listening

  • Problem Solving

Lesson Design

45-60 Minutes

5 Min: Review Learning Objectives
20 Min: Literary Discussion: The Blind Men and the Elephant
5 Min: Supporting Activity: Human Knot Game
10 Min: Reinforcing Activity: Litterbug
3 Min: Closing Activity

Objectives

  • Practice skills of listening by:

    • providing space for others to share their perspective

    • contributing to conversation based on new information

  • Explore different perspectives and give feedback that considers different viewpoints

Lingo List

Conflict Words

struggle

conflict

quarrel

fight

disagreement

Unkind Adjectives

mean

cruel

nasty

uncaring

spiteful

harsh

Reconciliation Words

compromise

agree

settle

mercy

compassion

make amends

Listening Words

notice

wait

observe

attend

accept

Aggravation Words

provoke

aggravate

bug

tease

irritate

annoy

pester

Friendship Words

support

back up

aid

assist

compliment

understand

honor

help

In this lesson, participants will be exposed to different perspectives and engage in exploration of assumptions concerning persons or situations.

Seeing situations from multiple angles is a crucial critical thinking skill key in resolving conflicts. The ability to listen and empathize supports positive social interactions and communication. Visualization of situations is a skill of intellectual abstraction that develops in conjunction with empathy development and emerges gradually as the brain matures.

Conflicts often arise when we assume that one side (usually our side) has all the truth and righteousness and that the other side is all wrong. Before deciding who is right and who is wrong, it is important to understand multiple sides of a conflict. Students can verbalize their own feelings and perspectives, and listen to others concretely illustrate different truths. Interpretation of situations will be more or less sophisticated based on one’s ability to apply both obvious and imagined contexts when making decisions concerning relationships. In everyday conflicts, ask students to identify and explore why others have varying viewpoints.

Guiding Questions for Class:

Even though we all experience the same world, we don’t necessarily see the world the same as anyone else. How do your opinions and beliefs about things differ from your friends and family? What would the best day ever look like for you? Would it be the same as anyone else?

Reading:

The Blind Men and the Elephant

Long ago six old men lived in a village. By chance, each was born blind. The other villagers loved the old men and kept them away from harm. Since the blind men could not see the world for themselves, they had to imagine many of its wonders. They listened carefully to the stories told by travelers to learn what they could about life outside the village.

The men were curious about many of the stories they heard, but they were most curious about elephants. They were told that elephants could trample forests, carry huge burdens, and frighten young and old with their loud trumpet calls. But they also knew that the Rajah's daughter rode an elephant when she traveled in her father's kingdom. Would the Rajah let his daughter get near such a dangerous creature?

The old men argued day and night about elephants. "An elephant must be a powerful giant," claimed the first blind man. He had heard stories about elephants being used to clear forests and build roads.

"No, you must be wrong," argued the second blind man. "An elephant must be graceful and gentle if a princess is to ride on its back."

"You're wrong! I have heard that an elephant can pierce a man's heart with its terrible horn," said the third blind man.

"Please," said the fourth blind man. "You are all mistaken. An elephant is nothing more than a large sort of cow. You know how people exaggerate."

"I am sure that an elephant is something magical," said the fifth blind man. "That would explain why the Rajah's daughter can travel safely throughout the kingdom."

"I don't believe elephants exist at all," declared the sixth blind man. "I think we are the victims of a cruel joke."

Finally, the villagers grew tired of all the arguments, and they arranged for the curious men to visit the palace of the Rajah to learn the truth about elephants. A young boy from their village was selected to guide the blind men on their journey. The smallest man put his hand on the boy's shoulder. The second blind man put his hand on his friend's shoulder, and so on until all six men were ready to walk safely behind the boy who would lead them to the Rajah's magnificent palace.

When the blind men reached the palace, they were greeted by an old friend from their village who worked as a gardener on the palace grounds. Their friend led them to the courtyard. There stood an elephant. The blind men stepped forward to touch the creature that was the subject of so many arguments.

The first blind man reached out and touched the side of the huge animal. "An elephant is smooth and solid like a wall!" he declared. "It must be very powerful."

The second blind man put his hand on the elephant's limber trunk. "An elephant is like a giant snake," he announced.

The third blind man felt the elephant's pointed tusk. "I was right," he decided. "This creature is as sharp and deadly as a spear."

The fourth blind man touched one of the elephant's four legs. "What we have here," he said, "is an extremely large cow."

The fifth blind man felt the elephant's giant ear. "I believe an elephant is like a huge fan or maybe a magic carpet that can fly over mountains and treetops," he said.

The sixth blind man gave a tug on the elephant's coarse tail. "Why, this is nothing more than a piece of old rope. Dangerous, indeed," he scoffed.

The gardener led his friends to the shade of a tree. "Sit here and rest for the long journey home," he said. "I will bring you some water to drink."

While they waited, the six blind men talked about the elephant.

"An elephant is like a wall," said the first blind man. "Surely we can finally agree on that."

"A wall? An elephant is a giant snake!" answered the second blind man.

"It's a spear, I tell you," insisted the third blind man.

"I'm certain it's a giant cow," said the fourth blind man.

"Magic carpet. There's no doubt," said the fifth blind man.

"Don't you see?" pleaded the sixth blind man. "Someone used a rope to trick us."

Their argument continued and their shouts grew louder and louder.

"Wall!" "Snake!" "Spear!" "Cow!" "Carpet!" "Rope!"

"Stop shouting!" called a very angry voice.

It was the Rajah, awakened from his nap by the noisy argument.

"How can each of you be so certain you are right?" asked the ruler.

The six blind men considered the question. And then, knowing the Rajah to be a very wise man, they decided to say nothing at all.

"The elephant is a very large animal," said the Rajah kindly. "Each man touched only one part. Perhaps if you put the parts together, you will see the truth. Now, let me finish my nap in peace."

When their friend returned to the garden with the cool water, the six men rested quietly in the shade, thinking about the Rajah's advice.

"He is right," said the first blind man. "To learn the truth, we must put all the parts together. Let's discuss this on the journey home."

The first blind man put his hand on the shoulder of the young boy who would guide them home. The second blind man put a hand on his friend's shoulder, and so on until all six men were ready to travel together.

Open-Ended Questions:

After the reading, debrief the story using the open-ended questions below. 

Active Listening

How does it feel when someone does not listen to you?

If your friend has a problem, why is it important to listen to them?

How does the teacher feel when students are not listening?

Empathy

When you see that someone is trying to speak but no one is listening, what can you do to help?

How does it feel when someone disagrees with you?

Problem Solving

How can someone disagree but also promote peace?

If someone says something you agree with how could you support them?

Kinesthetic Activity: Human Knot Game

Instructions:

  1. Have the group stand in a circle, facing inward.

  2. Tell everyone to reach their right arm towards the center and grab someone else’s hand. Make sure no one grabs the hand of the person right next to them.

  3. Next, have everyone reach their left arm in and grab someone else’s hand. Again, make sure it’s not the person right next to them.

  4. Now the fun begins! The kids need to work together to untangle the human knot without letting go of any hands. The goal is to end up in a perfect circle again. They can go over or under each other’s arms, or through legs if needed.

  5. Encourage them to do whatever they want, as long as they don’t break the chain in the process.

  • At the conclusion of the activity, ask a few students to share an anecdote to discuss the skills demonstrated to be successful, or discussing the challenges of the activity.

Reinforcing Activity: Litterbug

Objective: Students will demonstrate their communication skills by working together to pick up objects from the ground.

Instructions:

1. Divide students into teams (or groups of 4-5)

2. Give each team a crumpled-up piece of scrap paper or a piece of trash.

3. Place a trashcan in the center of the room.

4. Ask each team to choose a first player. (all will get to play)

5. Use the blindfold to cover the eyes of Player 1

6. Blindfolded player spins seven times then begins to pursue the trashcan to throw the piece of paper or trash away.

7. Each team will direct their player verbally to the trash can (i.e. move two steps forward, turn to the right, too far! go back!).

8. When it appears the player is appropriately at the trashcan, the Team will say, “DROP!” If the player misses, they go back to the edge of the circle and try again. When the player successfully drops the trash in the receptacle, another team member takes the blindfold and takes a turn spinning seven times and following student directions to deliver the trash to the trash can.

9. The first team to successfully maneuver all members to drop the paper in the waste basket wins.

10. At the end of the activity discuss what made each team successful or what they would do to overcome their challenges.

Closing Activity

Let’s end with a closing circle activity that will remind us of what we learned as a team working and learning as a team.

Today, we learned how to identify escalating emotions while exploring and practicing de-escalation strategies for conflict and building communication.

FULL CIRCLE- Open-Ended Questions

  • What new words did you learn today concerning conflict and understanding how to avoid getting super angry?

  • After today’s activities, what did you learn about maintaining friendships?

  • What are some behaviors or ways you could talk to someone to help them want to work together?

  • What was difficult about the activities?

  • Look at the Four Awesome Questions, how do they relate to today’s activities?

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